Jesus Take the Wheel

auto automobile automotive blur — Photo by Lorenzo Cafaro on Pexels.com

There have been countless desperation prayers I have made over the past 20 + years. From preemie hospitalizations, to RSV scares, to trips to a specialist, to sanity (mine), to you name it. But driving in the car with my four children had me calling on the Higher Power the most. You see, driving to town involved containing three very rambunctious, atomic level energetic, “I-Will-Get-Bored-And-Pull-My-Brother’s-Car seat-Over” males. I drove a suburban which allowed two car seats on each row with a seat in between. We even put the most grabby one next to our daughter who was less reactive. I had been having a particularly difficult week driving them (sneakers flying, etc.) and was just exiting our driveway to pull onto the road when one grabbed the other brother’s hair (idk how) and one began screaming. It had only been two minutes in the car. I was beginning to feel my chest tighten and noticed I was shallow breathing. I pulled my car off the road and just started praying, “Dear Jesus, PLEASE help me get these children safely to school!” When I looked up into my rear view mirror, my three year old son turned to the row of siblings behind him and said, “Mom’s talking to Jesus again!” Yep, I was. And would be for a very long time.

Fluffy’s Snack

I would like to make many mothers and fathers sigh in relief with a little story. The statute of limitations (I think) has run out on this one.

My triplets (plus one) were in preschool and we were attempting potty training. I use the verbiage “attempt” because I will never, ever believe that we “trained” them to use the bathroom in an indoor, flushable commode. My children decided when, if, and WHERE they were going to go. In fact, I believe we were trained to hope for the best and wish and pray it might occur in a favorable environment. After preschool one day, we arrived home and I unloaded the four car seats (yep, four) and the children were able to run around or go inside (remember the vast fencing?). I went inside with the “tree worth” of papers they brought home and noticed one boy lingered behind quite a while. When I saw he was adjusting his bottoms, I asked if he’d gone to the bathroom or something. He said yes and I inquired number one or two? He reluctantly revealed it was two. I said to him calmly and kindly (not really, I actually yelled, “What?! Where?! Omg!”) and proceeded to fetch him a Target bag to go clean up the mess in the yard. He wasn’t very excited about the task and thus, tarried longer than I’d like. So, I pulled him by the hand and led him into the area where the “event” occurred. As we walked outside, he and I noticed our large, rescue dog, Fluffy, smacking his lips after eating the entire evidence. My son’s face had the most joyously shocked expression I’d ever seen. I didn’t know if I should Lysol the dog’s mouth or feed him a lot of doggie biscuits so I did nothing and shut the children inside the house away from the dog. Fluffy was fed. I had four other mouths to I feed.

Potty humor is a learned art. The amount of experience required to achieve proficiency is debatable.

The Power of Humor

Praise the Lord for laughter. Praise the Lord for those with quick wit. He gave us this underrated tool to survive this crazy existence called life. I have a husband that can make any circumstance a joke. Sometimes it is well received, sometimes, not so much. However, I prefer it to not. For instance, when the children were small, he moved our family 20 minutes out of town to the river. Because all weren’t prolific swimmers, he decided to fence in all water access. There was a fish pond that got a circular fence; the waterfront backyard got divided by chain length fence; and then, the entire lot was enclosed in the same eyesore. Stainless steel fence framed every view. I said to him that it looked like we lived in a penitentiary. He remarked, “But isn’t it a beautiful penitentiary?”

Another example was when my husband (then fiancé) was asked if it concerned him that he was marrying someone who could inherit Alzheimer’s (my mom passed at 59 from it). He just plainly remarked, “Well, I’ll get at least 20 good years out of her.” So dreamy! I’m proud to say he’s still getting his money’s worth at almost 27 years. When I’ve been “poor in spirit” it sure has been nice to lighten the mood. I’m glad God gave me a partner who can do that readily (most of the time.)

A Good Day

Recently, I was riding in an elevator at the beach. A girl got on complaining about how the elevator was messing up and how her day wasn’t going well. I asked her floor and she said, “Fourth.” I told her the stairs were far quicker and more dependable. She took the elevator anyway and just grumbled that her day started off bad. I had just gotten out of a lengthy hospital stay with a loved one. My perspective was how on earth can you have a bad day at the beach? On vacation! Then it hit me, it’s all perspective. Anyone who’s seen “It’s a Wonderful Life” gets it. I saw some bad days for people in the hospital and they did NOT include the functioning of elevators. In fact I met a couple in the elevator at the hospital whose two children had been hit by a car recently and both were in the hospital. Now, I’d call THAT a bad day. As urgency subsides back at home, I am trying to remember how fortunate we are to worry about paying bills, where we parked our car, and if all major appliances are in working order. As one of my sons says, “First world problems, mom.” I realize it is a choice to not get bothered by the little stuff. I sure don’t want another big reminder anytime soon.

The Golden Girls

I never thought my favorite way to spend a Wednesday afternoon would be in the midst of “seasoned women of a certain age.” Fortunately, fate lead me into the most amazing group of them. I had prayed about my friendships feeling disconnect and wondered why things changed so much. By forming a loosely connected group with them (which began through church), we have become a close-knit support system of one another. These girls range from 81 to 94 and can tell a story! I have learned so much from listening to them and seeking their wisdom. We have a devotion, just talk our “girl talk,” and laugh! After that, we normally go to the Pub onsite and maybe or maybe not have a glass of wine. It has been extraordinary how much joy I get from being with them. In fact, I get way more out of our time together than they do. We’ve had prayers answered, dealt with death of loved ones, health problems and political issues. Occasionally, I get the privilege to hear about a prior romance (or a colorful joke). It seems the more time we spend together, the more easily the stories flow. My husband says that this group is what “rings my chimes.” I tend to agree.

COOL!

It began in 1997. It was a beautiful, spring day and I was headed less than a half mile away to the local hospital for a scheduled ultrasound. Now, mind you, this was when some OB/GYN offices did not have their own machinery. Thus, we little folk herded into the waiting room to be seen by the local ultrasound tech. Being that I had a napping 1 year old, my husband came home from work (100 yards away) and ate lunch while I meandered to that appointment. Once there, another couple I knew had an entire waiting room full with them for their ultrasound appointment. I was alone. I had no idea how prophetic that would become.

After pleasantries with the other large family, I sat and waited. Luckily one of my former students from the exercise class I taught was my tech. She and I happily yapped about everything as she proceeded with my routine ultrasound. Once started she paused and said, “Oh my! Katie, you’re having twins! You can cry now.” I was mute and completely blindsided. (I wasn’t one to fantasize about children, number of children or desire for ANY sized family.) I was in shock and my mind went blank. Then, she said those words, “Wait, uhm, I think there’s one more, uhm, wait, uhm, let me get the radiologist to look at this.” As I lie there asking, “What!?!” (And this was before the meme portraying WTF!?!) my mind raced. I was completely freaked out with the possibility of multiples. I wasn’t the ideal candidate for motherhood. I didn’t really enjoy babysitting, had few child care skills and honestly, felt disliked by most kids I came in contact. My mother wasn’t available to equip me as she developed Alzheimer’s disease in her late 40’s. Let’s face it, I was NOT who you’d want to be your mom. But, as fate would have it, God calls the least equipped to show His strength. So, as I lie, my friendly tech comes back into the exam room where I finally ask, “Are there any more??” That was my first spoken thought…four children, what? How do I do that? I have an 1100 sq.ft. house, a two door car and no income myself. (My husband and I had tried to go it on one salary. Little did we know what was to come!)

So I drive my two door car back to our tiny house where my husband simply asked, “What?” when I mutely looked at him in desperation. I truly couldn’t speak. How do you tell someone they are about to go from one to four children nonchalantly? I just started handing him stuffed animals. One, two, three, four I handed. He only said one word, “Cool!”

God Will Never Give You More Than You Can Handle

If you, like me, despise the above saying, then you will easily understand me. I absolutely believe there IS a higher power and have come to know him as Jesus. Yes, He most certainly WILL give you more than you can handle. It’s His means to draw you closer. It’s not to disregard your surely, evolved abilities, but to salvage those in overwhelming, unbearable circumstances. I learned this tough lesson when I, Katie, Miss do-it-all, over-achiever, was given natural, identical triplets 3 months after my mother succumbed to Alzheimer’s and while I was raising a 1 year old. My sister said God did this to get my attention because that was the only way. I beg to differ. I think God did this to bless my husband and me and to teach us. Now there has been a cost: loss of prior beliefs, less invitations and others, but they pale in comparison to the life lessons we’ve gained. Maybe you have a similar story from a different perspective. Maybe you were blessed with a special needs child (greatest nod from God I can imagine) or you have endured a trial that has left you more aware of what really matters. Maybe you lost something that opened your eyes to something greater. I don’t know, but I do believe we all can learn from and gain perspective from one another. That is why I decided to do this blog that many friends say might help someone else.